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When Disrespect and Control Become Normal || Single || Dating || Married Ladies

In today’s world, many behaviors are wrongly labeled as “normal” in relationships. Some women think it’s acceptable to disrespect a man, control him, mold him into their personal fantasy, gaslight him when they are wrong, and still demand unconditional love. The truth is, this mindset is not only toxic but completely unbiblical. If you are practicing these attitudes and still claim to be a godly woman, it’s time to pause and examine your heart before God.

Disrespecting a man is not godly. God’s Word commands respect in relationships as a foundational principle for love and harmony. Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” When you think it is okay to dishonor, insult, or disregard a man’s feelings and worth, you are acting contrary to God’s instruction. Disrespect destroys trust and unity, and no relationship can thrive where dishonor is celebrated.

Control is manipulation, not partnership. A healthy relationship is built on mutual submission and cooperation, not domination or control. When you try to dictate every move a man makes or impose your will on him, you step into manipulation, which is a form of witchcraft (Galatians 5:20). God designed relationships to reflect love and freedom, not control and bondage. A controlling spirit suffocates the joy in a relationship and breeds resentment instead of love.

Forcing him to fit your desire is idolatry. When you try to mold a man into what you want instead of allowing him to be who God created him to be, you are setting up your own desires as an idol. Romans 14:4 asks, “Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls.” God never gave you the authority to redesign a man according to your preference; He created him with a unique purpose and identity. Trying to change him to satisfy yourself is an attack on God’s creative wisdom.

Gaslighting is emotional abuse. When you offend a man and then manipulate him into thinking he is wrong for reacting or feeling hurt, you are engaging in a toxic and sinful behavior called gaslighting. Proverbs 6:16-19 lists a lying tongue and a heart that devises wicked plans among the things God hates. Making someone doubt their reality to escape accountability is a dangerous practice that tears down trust and destroys emotional safety.

Expecting unconditional love while being toxic is hypocrisy. Many demand love that is patient, forgiving, and unconditional, yet they are unwilling to practice that same love in return. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely.” If you are constantly rude, manipulative, or selfish, but still expect perfect love, you are living in hypocrisy, not godliness.

Such behavior reveals an unrenewed heart. Acting in these ways is evidence that your heart has not truly been transformed by the Word and Spirit of God. Romans 12:2 urges, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” A truly born-again woman reflects the character of Christ, which includes humility, respect, gentleness, and self-control. If these fruits are absent and manipulation dominates, then the claim of being God’s daughter is questionable.

There is nothing normal or acceptable about it. Normalizing such behaviors as part of modern relationships is a lie from the enemy. Titus 2:3-5 teaches that women should be reverent, self-controlled, and loving, setting a godly example. Anything outside this design is neither healthy nor holy. A true daughter of God does not embrace control, disrespect, or emotional abuse but walks in love, submission to God, and honor toward others.

Final Call to Action
If you find yourself practicing any of these behaviors, don’t justify them—repent. Ask God for a renewed heart and a teachable spirit. Healthy relationships are built on love, respect, humility, and grace. God is calling you higher. Will you answer?

Prince Victor Matthew 

Hope Expression Values You 



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