One of the greatest threats to a healthy relationship is the subtle desire to always be in control. As a lady of godly value, you must understand that love is not about bending a man to fit your script. When you always want things to go your way, you are not building love, you are building tension. A relationship rooted in Christ thrives on partnership, not dictatorship. If you notice that you constantly feel uneasy when things don’t align with your desires, pause and reflect – is this love or is it control?
Control often looks innocent at first. It hides behind phrases like “I just want the best for us” or “I know what’s right for him,” but deep down, it’s about fear and insecurity. God did not call you to manipulate a man into your image; He called you to complement him as he becomes the man God created him to be. Remember, Proverbs 31 describes a virtuous woman as wise, supportive, and respectful—not controlling or domineering. Love gives freedom and inspires growth, not chains.
If you constantly win every argument and silence his voice, you are not creating unity; you are breeding resentment. A godly woman understands that peace in a relationship comes when both voices matter. You don’t need to control him to feel safe; your security should come from God, not from dominance. True love is a choice, and choices can only thrive where freedom exists. Are you creating space for that freedom, or are you choking the life out of your relationship with control?
Control is not leadership; it’s a prison. A man who feels caged will never truly express love because fear and love cannot coexist. Daughters of God, if this is your reality, repent and let God heal the root of that need to control. A relationship is not a battlefield where you must always win; it’s a garden where you both must water love, trust, and mutual respect. The real question is: Are you ready to love without control?
Assessment Questions:
1. Do I respect my partner’s voice and allow him to contribute to decisions, or do I always push for my way?
2. When I feel things are not going as I want, do I react in fear and control or respond in wisdom and prayer?
3. Does my love create freedom for my partner to grow, or does it cage him with constant demands and expectations?
Hope Expression Values You
Prince Victor Matthew
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