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The Proposal - Part 3



Every friendship must be NEED define. What are you looking for in life? What do you have? What is he looking for in life? What does he have (creativity, vision, ideas)? 

You must be able to feed his need and he must be able to feed your need. Your need must be defined through the scriptures, your talent and creativity. This is God’s pattern for handling proposal.

Friendship is all about feeding each others NEED. You must understand that NEED are either carnal or Godly. You have no business feeding his carnal NEED or him feeding your carnal NEED. Carnal NEEDS are the work of the flesh, lust of the eyes, pride of life, and lust of the flesh. God is not expecting you to feed his carnal NEED or him feeding your carnal NEED.  Godly NEEDS are the self development in the area of your talent, creativity, and the fruit of the spirit. God is expecting you to feed him NEEDS in these areas and he is meant to feed your NEEDS in these areas. This is God’s pattern for handling proposal.

Can you trust him? Can he trust you? Can he listen to you? Can you listen to him? Can he share his fears, worries and doubts with you? Can you share your fears, worries and doubts? Do you judge him? Is he always judging you? Do you forgive him and does he forgive you? This is God’s pattern for handling proposal.

COMMUNICATION

Communication is the foundation and strength of relationship. It is a team work that will require the two people to be actively involved. Do you have an effective communication skill? In order for you to have an effective communication skill, you must learn to live a life above assumption and presumption. This is God’s pattern for handling proposal.

The most important thing is your listening skill. Your ability to listen will determine your ability to communicate effectively. If you have a poor listening skill, you will communicate wrongly. Poor communication skill will affect the way the man and his PROPOSAL.

Relationship is not about what you say; it’s about how you say what you have to say. BE WISE. This is God’s pattern for handling proposal.

Do you have the attitude of phone calls, text messages, and whatsup chat? If you don’t, you must learn it before you accept that man for a serious relationship. If you really like and love a man, be interested in having an effective communication with him. Love without effective communication will lead to frustration. This is God’s pattern for handling proposal.

Communication is not the major problem. The challenge is what are you really saying? Are your words building, encouraging and inspiring him? Are your words full of suspect, insecurity, abuse and uncertainty? Listening to him is not the major problem. The challenge is what are you hearing? Are you listening to him with the interest of knowing and understanding him? Are you listening to him with the aim of finding fault? Are you listening for what you want to hear or you are listening to what he needs to say? This is God’s pattern for handling proposal.

My sisters, there are many things to discuss; you can enjoy a conversation about your passion, things that interest you, your believes, your talent, your creativity…etc. You can start with what you know and also ask questions about what you don’t know. Be bold to enjoy a conversation with a man. Be polite, be direct and be sure he is in the mood for a conversation. This is God’s pattern for handling proposal.

At your first conversation, avoid asking him personal question. Infact, your first assignment is for you to make him feel secure talking to you. Whatsoever you want to know about him, you will have to tell him your own side of the story first…as this will help him to open up to you. This is God’s pattern for handling proposal.

Allow your conversation to make him feel secure enough for him to share personal information. Don’t rush, listen to him at his own pace and don’t force it. Don’t try to use gift and money to manipulate the process or him into liking you. This is God’s pattern for handling proposal.

To be continued...

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Location: Ibadan, Nigeria

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